extreme weather and impeding workplace tragedy, with special reference to ufos and hitler

 

from the these are the moments that break up a dull day department:

 

It is currently raining so hard we cannot even see Toronto Island from our boardroom. Plus the roof is leaking! How can I conduct ideational sessions under these conditions? Right now this office is noisier than Hitler’s Berlin Bunker, April 1945 (a judgment I make after careful viewing of the Time-Life WW II video library) — and possibly even more hazardous, given the amount of water pouring onto our desks and into our computers. Of course, Hitler was no longer in the bunker: the bodies of the suicides were actually executed stand-in doubles for him and Eva, who were by that time at the secret Nazi base in the Antarctic (ferried there, according to the Internet, by the Nazi’s anti-gravity saucer-shaped flying disk). But you, gentle reader, you already knew that. Unless you’re a fuckwit who believes the “official story” in matters corporate or political . . . but my argument is simply that one cannot profitably labour at one’s vocation whilst water enters one’s computer by means both diverse & sinister. Meanwhile, deadlines loom. Truly, count no man happy until he is dead!

 

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